I am aware of my blessings, and I am grateful. I appreciate every opportunity to work hard, to find truth, to love and be loved. I understand that life promises only change and challenges, the rest is up to us.
People that I love and respect have told me that we are never given more than we can handle, and that every challenge brings an important lesson. I’m not sure I completely buy into this, but for the sake of my own edification I do try to learn from those life experiences that I have no control over.
I have learned a lot this way. What I am learning, or maybe re-learning, lately is that we all have a breaking point. Some of us can handle extraordinary stress and pain, and others less. Regardless, we all have a point where and when it is all just too much. It takes a lot to get me close to that point, but it is there.
When I get to that point it seems that there is a range of emotions that hit me, from a dangerous anger to deep sadness.
I’ve also learned that my flight mechanism is apparently broken. My fight instinct works just fine, but I never seem to be able to just flee. That may not be healthy, but I’m okay with being a fighter. I care deeply about people, and believe strongly that our world can be better, and sometimes we need to fight to protect those we love and to promote what we see as justice.
Though I sometimes struggle with this, I have learned from mentors like Marvin and Liz that it is important to choose your battles. Fighting every injustice is not sustainable, not effective, and not healthy. The next step was learning from Stuart and Col. Joe that even when you’ve chosen and fully engaged in a battle, you have to consider whether that is a hill you are ready to die on. Sometimes the answer should be yes, and the right thing is to go all out. Other times the best thing for all involved is to live to fight another day.
I have learned these lessons, and have found some balance as a “soldier,” as my wife says. It is the challenges that offer no opportunity to fight that are often most difficult for me. The most obvious example is the loss of loved ones. Even the strongest soldier, the greatest strategist, or the most powerful spirit cannot defend against the pain brought on by the passing of someone they love deeply. There is no fighting, except to keep one’s sanity.
I recently wrote to a friend about all that has been going on personally and professionally. I said, “When it rains it pours, I guess” and that I am, “focusing on finding that rainbow that comes after a big storm.” First of all, I apologize for how incredibly corny that sounds. That being said, I do try to keep my weight up (stay strong) and remain actively hopeful.
As cheesy as it was, I meant what I said at the time. As the day went on, it brought yet another major challenge my way. I was at that point when I had to consider that I may have been getting close to my breaking point.
In fact, what’s going on isn’t going to break me. It just isn’t, and I know that.
It took Dad telling me to “have fun” over and over and over again for it finally sink in, but I have finally found perspective and learned that there is a time to let down my guard and simply enjoy living. So, even as I’m trying to find the strength to handle the current challenges, I’m having fun and enjoying life! Thanks Dad.
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Posted by Joe-Joe McManus
for the drjoejoe blog
the drjoejoe blog 